Not a fan of the FanBox

I must be getting really old....or I'm a real prude!

A friend of mine recently sent me an invitation for FanBox. I usually don't bother with social sites, but accepted this one (not sure why). I've been a Facebooker for a while, and thought it was similar. The great thing about Facebook is that its private - no one sees your profile if you don't want them to. And its been awesome getting in touch with old friends. But.....FanBox is not the same thing at all!

Even though I set in my profile that I am married, and only interested in friends, I've been flocked by so many weirdo's. I was logged in for about 30 minutes this morning, and almost 80 men wanted to chat! A lot will just say 'hi', but then you get the ones that keep nagging 'are you not gonna reply???'. Oh, and then of course the 'do you like sexy talk?' ones. But my favourite; 'I bet ur a lioness'. Not sure if I should laugh, or vomit!

Went to collect our refund for the Josh Groban concert tickets yesterday...the concert that was cancelled last week. The one concert I've been looking forward to for so long, the one I missed some years ago when he was performing in South Africa but we were living abroad at the time, the concert I missed abroad because it was also cancelled ("postponed") due to some or other circumstances. And now.....the same thing! There's something very wrong in my world.....

I'm sensing difficult years ahead of me.... My oldest is 13 (THIRTEEN!!! *gasp*), and lately we are constantly at each other's throats. *sigh* But I love her to bits.

Thing is.....I get freaked out! I never had a good relationship with my own mom. In fact, there was no relationship. She was emotionally unavailable. We hardly spoke, never hugged. Never once told me she loved me*. I could never do anything right in her eyes, and she had no problem telling anyone that. Not even being a straight-A student did the trick. There were very hard years growing up, and I always envied friends' families. I still do. Its always been a very sad spot in my heart. But, I learned to live with it. I got to a point where I didn't care anymore, it didn't matter anymore.

And then I had children of my own...

So even though I have pretty good relationships with my children, and we have good communication, I can't help but freak out when things go rough. And I'm so afraid of finding something of my mother in myself. And I'm so afraid my kids might someday feel the same towards me as I do towards my mother. Its such a huge load to carry...I want them to feel what I never did.



*A couple of years ago, while talking on the phone (while we were living abroad), she told me she loved me....and I was stunned. It was just too weird.

What could be worse than cleaning up the cat's poop on the carpet?

Cleaning up the dogs vomit 'cos he got to the poop before you did!

Phew.....

I have survived my son's 8th birthday party....and I am exhausted! But, not just any party, a sleepover party!! I don't know what possessed me to say yes when he asked. What helped was that we only invited 6 other boys, and that was his idea too (smart kid - I would never have survived more...).

But man, its hard work!!

My oldest daughter had her own sleepout planned, and I panicked just a little about that, 'cos that left me and my other daughter (who'll be 12 next month) to handle the whole event. But luck striked when her best friend slept over, and the two of them kept the group of boys busy for hours! Some days I'm so grateful for older kids :) They did treasure hunts, and invented other cool games like Fear Factor.....and the kids loved it! Its so satisfying to hear children say; This is the best party I've ever been too in my life!

The only problem was getting them to sleep!! Its not an easy thing, and you can't really go to bed and let them be.....the house might not be standing the next morning...not the way you remember it anyway. :-/ So yah....the last one dropped off by 2am! And this morning they were up with the sun....how do they do that? I'm definitely not young anymore :-(

After another marathon play session in the pool and in the park next door, they each walked out the door like zombies when their parents collected them.... Most parents thanked me, cos it meant they'd have sleepy tired kids most of the day :)

Phew! The end of another weekend... I'm exhausted.

When did my life start revolving around my children's social lives!?